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What is fear of failure? Basically, it is the fear of self-hate and self-rejection.
It stems from a strong need for total acceptance from self and from others. Total acceptance from others is something we may never achieve. We have no control over how others see us, how others judge us. We set up a no-win situation. When we fail, we feel disgraced, embarrassed, depressed and unworthy of respect.
Fear of failure is fear of rejection. It results in decisions designed to prevent the possibility of failure and rejection – decisions that result in jobs never taken, relationships never started, opportunities left unchallenged, promotions never asked for, chances never taken and independence never achieved.
A person with a healthy self-esteem, who has managed to find success in life, has experienced many failures along the way. The key is to fail successfully, to understand that falling short is always a possibility and to recognize that it is part of the life process.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. It means you should keep trying until you get it right. So what if it takes you a little longer than the next person? So what if you experience a few bruises along the way?
The only way to get comfortable with the possibility of failure and rejection is to expose yourself to it. By taking chances and allowing yourself to be rejected, you will come to realize that while your pride may be temporarily shaken, your real self remains unchanged. You are still that same person with the same talents and abilities. No one can change that.
Permitting the experience of rejection and failure - and gradually becoming less and less affected by it, is extremely freeing. You are then able to knock on any door, to try new experiences, to accept a challenge and to make exciting, life-fulfilling decisions. Your decisions will be made out of desire, not fear.